Is AA a Selfish Program or Simply One That Supports Self-Development?
Alcoholics Anonymous is sometimes called a selfish program — even by members. However, AA has self-development at the core of the program. It is impossible to develop the self without focusing on the self in some way. To better understand the AA program, let’s clarify the differences between selfishness and self-care.
It is closer to the truth to say that AA includes acknowledging a power that is greater than yourself. If self-development is selfish, then is a personal relationship with a higher power also selfish? A part of Alcoholics Anonymous is achieving a spiritual awakening to help a person achieve sobriety and maintain it.
Losing Selfishness
In Chapter 5 of the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, it states that “… the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must or it kills us!” The book goes on to say that God makes it possible to get rid of selfishness. It is worth acknowledging that a person deeply in the throes of alcoholism may struggle to focus on anything that doesn’t have to do with getting their next drink.
It is understandable that this particular situation is a form of selfishness. But if the program were entirely about selfishness, then people struggling with alcoholism would be encouraged to do whatever self-absorbing activity they liked, including drinking. As opposed to encouraging an individual to do whatever they want, the program helps people see the benefit of not succumbing to selfishness.
Giving up selfish behavior is a foundational part of developing a relationship with your higher power. Those who have social support are more likely to maintain longer periods of sobriety. Encouraging selfishness would result in the encouragement of addictive behavior. Selfishness almost guarantees failure in recovery, which is the overarching goal of the program. The third step of the program deals with turning your will over to a higher power: “We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”
Achieving a Wholesome Lifestyle
The program shows participants the benefits of losing their selfishness. It is designed to help members become more engaged with others. Altruism is at the heart of the program. The 12th step of the program focuses on having a spiritual awakening and carrying that experience over to all of the affairs you’re engaged in.
The 12-step program focuses on tolerance, love, and altruism — all of which include ridding yourself of self-centeredness in all your interactions. AA is not a self-centered program; it is designed to be the opposite. Selfishness can cause many problems, and it’s important to engage in service that helps others at every opportunity in order to maintain sobriety.
When a person decides that they want to achieve sobriety, they need community and support to get there. The AA program charts a path to freedom from alcoholism and addiction. The proper facility can provide the latest treatment to assist clients with maintaining sobriety.
During treatment, people struggling with alcoholism begin to understand that they were engaged in self-centered and selfish activities. As addiction continues, the person begins to focus entirely on their own desires, including alcohol or other drugs. Addiction can cause a person to lose sight of their purpose in life and focus solely on the next high.
Overcoming Self-Obsession
A newcomer to AA will be made aware that they need to rid themselves of self-obsession to become a contributing member of society. By working through the 12 steps, they begin to realize that there is no room for selfishness in the program. The very nature of the program involves receiving and sharing communication with other members, which is the opposite of selfishness. A life lived according to belief in a higher power does not include self-obsession.
While in the program, a person can see how to leave selfishness behind. They can experience how selfless actions and gratitude will help them feel less selfish. The program does not support selfishness, so it becomes difficult to believe that the program is inherently selfish. Continuously working through the steps of AA allows one to realize that they must place their recovery before anything else. This is not only beneficial for the individual but also for their family unit and social circle, as well as the community at large.
Self-obsession is essentially self-absorption and an egocentric attitude. Self-obsession can inhibit an individual’s functioning. This demeanor can make a person capable of using and abusing others to fulfill their own desires. Loved ones begin to feel abandoned when addiction becomes a compulsion. Self-obsession can result in a lack of desire to participate in daily activities, go to work, and contribute financially to support a family.
Self-focus correlates with anxiety and depression. Likewise, anxiety and depression can also lead to an intense focus on the self. A self-obsessed person can become so occupied with their own thoughts that thinking about the needs of anyone else is difficult. Not everyone who is self-obsessed is dealing with addiction, but many who are addicted deal with self-centeredness when experiencing cravings. Having a mental health disorder can compound the problem and likely requires treatment to improve the situation.
It is absolutely possible to lose your selfishness and also prioritize your recovery and health. Self-interest is not the same as selfishness. If you desire to be of service to other people, it is essential to care for yourself first. If a person is not sober, it can quickly become impossible to help improve anyone else. To become a better version of yourself, working through the steps is vital, and this involves self-care. Once you are in better health and an improved state of mind, it becomes possible to help other people who are suffering.
The 12 Steps Have Been Proven Effective
Deliberately choosing to not seek help is a selfish action. Alternatively, getting help for your addiction benefits the family of the affected person, especially with family-centered service. Selfishness is not exclusive to those dealing with alcoholism. However, addiction can cause a person to behave in self-centered ways that hurt the people around them.
People struggling with alcoholism may lack coping skills or have dealt with neglect. The AA program was designed to help these individuals deal with the root of the problem, rather than encouraging them to keep doing whatever makes them feel better to cover up the problem. People who resort to alcohol to handle their feelings are often trying to numb those feelings. Learning how to handle feelings in an emotionally intelligent manner is part of the program.
The Importance of Self-Care
Improving the self in order to help others is detailed in steps 11 and 12. Step 11 focuses on meditation, prayer, and improving communication with “God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” You learn to hand over your will in exchange for the will of your higher power. Step 12 details having a spiritual awakening as a result of all the prior steps and then carrying the AA message to other alcoholics and practicing AA’s principles in your daily life.
The first 11 steps of the program help the individual follow the will of God, while step 12 focuses on using that experience and knowledge to help others. The first 10 steps are greatly involved with working your way out of releasing yourself from selfishness. If a member of the AA program says that the program is selfish, they may mean something different than the usual meaning of the word. They may mean that in order to succeed in the program, they have to prioritize their own sobriety over everything else. Then, they have to make maintaining sobriety a sole focus. Rather than AA being a selfish program, it results in members behaving less selfishly.
Once you have navigated the first 11 steps, you’re ready to begin helping others. On an airplane, you have to put your own oxygen mask on before you can help someone else put theirs on. Would you consider putting your own oxygen mask on first as selfish? You literally cannot help anyone else on the plane if you’ve passed out due to a lack of oxygen.
Service to Others and Recovery
It’s necessary to care about yourself in order to be of service to others. Maintaining your health is not a selfish act. You cannot take care of your family unless you’re in good health. You must help yourself so that you can help others. The people you love can take their place as priorities in your life only after you have made yourself a priority.
Speaking with someone about your alcoholism is a groundbreaking move toward recovery. Admitting that there is an issue and facing it is one of the first steps to a better life. True selfishness would be disregarding how your behavior affects the people around you, but attending AA is the opposite action. While everyone’s path to sobriety is slightly different, the fastest way to achieve sobriety is by beginning to resolve the issue and taking action.
We hope that this information helps you better understand what the AA program is about and why it has helped so many people for decades. AA is designed to be altruistic and encourage members to help members. Countless people have achieved a normal life after recovering from brutal battles with addiction. This has allowed them to care more for others and benefit from a spiritual relationship with their higher power.
Determining When You Have an AUD
You may have had a choice when you first started using alcohol. But over time, this drug changes the structure and functioning of your brain. Once you are addicted, the urge to drink alcohol gets very strong. You may keep using it without thinking about what could happen.
These are some signs that you may have an alcohol use disorder:
• Being unable to control the amount of alcohol you drink
• Having a strong craving for alcohol
• Failing to handle responsibilities at work, school, or home because you are using alcohol
• Continuing to drink alcohol although you realize it’s causing major problems in your life
• Experiencing withdrawal symptoms like sweating, shaking, and nausea when you stop drinking, or drinking to avoid these symptoms
Short-term treatments don’t provide a long-term solution for alcoholism. Studies have shown that programs shorter than 90 days are usually not long enough. The most effective programs to treat addiction provide a number of services that span a longer period, such as:
• Behavioral counseling
• Medication
• Medical devices and applications that treat withdrawal symptoms or deliver skills training
• Evaluation and treatment for co-occurring mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety
• Aftercare to prevent relapse
Final Thoughts
The opinion that AA is a selfish program has become a source of confusion regarding what the program is actually about. Being a member of Alcoholics Anonymous simply means that you have chosen to place your recovery above everything else in order to improve and stabilize your life. Self-care is at the center of the program, and this is not the same as self-centeredness. Through the program, a member learns to first abandon their selfish desires in order to achieve recovery. Alcoholics Anonymous gives everyone who needs support an opportunity to attain sobriety and enjoy a healthier, happier life.
